I went to the same place as last time because I assumed it would be the same price and I’d get an alright do. Last time it cost me 2 pounds for a hair wash and a trim. This time it was different.
I walked in after work yesterday and the place was a bit more busy. I was told to take a seat and wait for a chair/sink to free up. A few of the staff gathered around me and showed me some prices and some paper covered with Chinese writing. I had no idea what was going on so I just shrugged at them and gestured haircut with my hand shaped like scissors. It being a hairdressers, I didn’t think there’d be so much confusion.
They went away and one of the rather more attractive ladies came over with a bottle of oil and a bag of tools. She gave me a neck, head and upper back massage which I wasn’t given the option to refuse. It was pleasant at first until she started using the tools. They were a collection of spoon like plastic things she used to rub up and down my back. It started to become very painful and it lasted a long time.
An overly camp Chinese guy then cut my hair and there was no fuss. Getting my haircut here is better than anywhere else I have had it done. In England there are endless questions about how long you want each and every hair and which scissors and trimmers they should use, what number? etc. I always think to myself “You’re the hairdresser! Shouldn’t you know?” And the small talk… well enough stand up comedians have said all there is to say about that.
In France they ask the same endless list of questions I don’t know the answer to except, whatever you reply they give you the same stupid almost-mullet everywhere you go every time.
In China, you say “Cut my hair” and then they do it. They like to throw in some green tea too which is nice.
When I got home I went to take a shower. My back was still aching from the massage and as I walked into the bathroom I thought I’d check out my back in the mirror. As I did so, I saw that there was a huge blue bruise covering my nape. Thanks China.